


Under Her Skin

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: F/F, Femslash Big Bang Monthly Challenge, Femslash February, Pre-Game(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-18
Packaged: 2018-09-25 07:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9810239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: The Exile tells only one person that she's leaving with Revan.  They don't meet again until her trial.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to babedur on tumblr for the prompt!!!

Nora inhales deeply, holding the breath for a moment before exhaling.  She knows that what she’s doing is right, but she knows that it’s not going to be popular.  On the one hand, that doesn’t matter: what is right is right, no matter what.  On the other hand…

"I didn’t tell anyone else I was leaving… You deserved to know though,” Nora says.

She lingers at the doorway, not sure if she’s welcome or not.  That’s not something that she’s ever questioned before now.  

“Why?” Atris’ voice is brittle.  

She curls her knees up to her chest, looking up at Nora from her vantage point on her bed.  Her hair, cut short recently, sticks up in all directions, but she still manages to look regal somehow.  Atris always looks regal.  It’s a trick Nora has never mastered, no matter how many years of careful study she has under her belt.

“People are dying,” Nora says firmly.  “We can help.”

“The Council has said that Jedi who go to war will fall to the dark side,” Atris says.

Nora takes a few steps inside the doorframe.  “We risk falling to the dark side if we sit idly by while billions are slaughtered.”

Atris gets to her feet, moving slowly.  She looks surprisingly fragile- Nora has never associated Atris with frailty- but she still forces herself into Nora’s personal space.  

Her breath is warm against Nora’s lips.  If only she would give Nora a bit of room, it sure would make it easier to think.  Of course, Nora could take a few steps back, but she doesn’t want to back down either, so she stays where she is.  

“This isn’t what Jedi do,” Atris says.  “We aren’t warriors.  We aren’t soldiers.”

“Revan thinks-”

“I don’t care what Revan thinks.  She’s always taken an unorthodox method to things,” Atris says.  “You’re not like her.”

Nora presses her lips together, trying to figure out how to explain it to her without sparking Atris’ jealousy.  She knows that she needs to follow Revan.  It’s going to be more difficult than anything that she’s ever done, but if doesn’t go, she’ll regret it for the rest of her life.  

“There are people dying, Atris.  They’re being massacred and they don’t have a chance unless somebody helps them.  I can’t stand by while that happens,” Nora says.  “I hope you can understand, even if you don’t agree.”

Atris looks like she’s about to strike out in anger, but Nora can see her calming herself down.  She exhales over a ten count and forces her shoulders to a less tense pose.  Sometimes it takes Atris so much _effort_ to relax that Nora isn’t sure if it really counts as relaxation.  

“You are going to regret this, Nora.  I hope that it isn’t too late for you when you realize that the Jedi were right,” Atris says.  

Nora nods a little.  She honestly hadn’t expected understanding, but she had hoped.  

Atris has always had the strength of her convictions, which is something that Nora has always admired about her, even when they came to bitter contention.  Their relationship has been fraught with disagreement, but that disagreement made their relationship richer.  

“Goodbye, Atris,” Nora says.  “Take care of yourself.  I get the feeling that the next few years are going to be difficult for us all.”

Nora gives Atris a moment to answer, and when she stays silent, she turns.  She has a few possessions to pack.  She needs to compose herself before meeting the others.  Revan doesn’t want to take people with doubts about their course of action.  

Atris surprises her by wrapping her fingers around her wrist, holding her in place.  Just a simple touch sends electricity coursing through her body, making her chest clench and tears prick at her eyes.  She doesn’t mind leaving the Jedi behind, but leaving Atris behind- particularly disappointed Atris- hurts more deeply than she would care to admit.

“Nora…” Atris’ voice is barely audible.  “Don’t do this.  Stay with me.   _Please_.”

“That’s not fair and you know it,” Nora says, pulling her arm away.  She can’t look back at Atris.  “We both know that I love you, that you love me, and that your devotion to the more conservative branches of Jedi thought means that nothing will ever come of our feelings.  That’s fine.  You’re allowed to have your beliefs.  What you’re not allowed to do is try to manipulate me with our feelings.”

Atris inhales sharply, but doesn’t say anything.  

Good.  Nora doesn’t want to hear what she has to say to that anyway.  It’s been years upon years that their feelings have simmered there, unspoken, but underpinning all aspects of their relationship.  

Nora leaves her there, resisting the urge to look back.  She hasn’t heard Atris move, so she must be watching her go.  

* * *

 

Atris shouldn’t know what time Revan is leaving, or from which port.  She has no interest in joining this sanctioned rebellion, and disapproves that the Jedi Council hasn’t immediately expelled them all.  

She pulls the cowl of her robe down a little, not wanting to be identified.  It’s a crisp, cool afternoon, and there are a surprising amount of people at the Garang spaceport.  There are more people who support Revan than she thought.

With a lump forming in her throat, Atris watches as old friends embrace before one boards the ship and the other steps back to watch them go.  Some people wave across the spaceport, dashing to say one last goodbye.  There’s a lingering somberness in the air, but there’s hope and the frisson of excitement, too.

Watching it all from the ramp of the ship is Revan.  Her arms are crossed, a pleased smile on her face.  She looks so confident, so at ease, and Atris doesn’t have any idea how a woman fomenting something so terrible can look so calm.  

Beside her is Alek and, of course, Nora.  She looks just as serene, but Atris can see her sadness, even from this distance.  If she really was the only person that Nora told, then there's no one to see her off on her heresy.  

Atris almost takes a step out of the shadows, but remembers Nora’s sharp rebuke the night before.  It's not actually true, of _course_ .  At least for her.  Everyone knows that, despite the Jedi Order’s recent laxness about the whole thing, Jedi aren't really supposed to have relationships or form romantic attachments.  Atris would _never_ betray the Order in such a way.  

Slowly, the crowd dissipates.  Rebels into the ship and enablers stepping back.  A few stand, waving like fools, and the trio at the top of the ramp stay put, like royalty surveying their domain.  

For the briefest moment, Atris feels overcome with negative emotions.  How dare Revan, with her stirring speeches and passionate displays, take Nora away from her?  It's not fair or right or the way things should be.  

But she centers herself and reminds herself that it was Nora’s choice to leave.  Revan hardly forced her to leave.  Somehow, that doesn't make Atris feel better.  

The last glimpse of Nora that Atris sees is her looking back over her shoulder as she disappears into the ship. She looks disappointed, but then squares her shoulders and looks resolutely forward.  

Atris is rooted to the spot until the ship lifts off and is out of sight.  She's really gone.  It's almost too much to believe.  

“Have you seen Knight Nora?” Mical, the youngling who tags after her mercilessly, asks when Atris finally makes it back to the Enclave.  “I want to show her something!”

“She’s joined Revan and her rebellion,” Atris says.  

Mical frowns, looking up at her like he doesn’t understand.  “What?”

“Nora left with Revan and her other followers.  She’s gone,” Atris says.  

Mical looks up at her, bright face darkening.  He looks like he’s not entirely sure how he’s feeling, and Atris knows that she should say something wise and comforting, but nothing is coming to mind.  It’s taken out of her hands when he turns and storms away.  

She feels lost without Nora around.  Until the Mandalorians started making war, they had been inseparable.  Suddenly being without her makes Atris feel off kilter.  This is a troubling development.

* * *

 

Atris tries to ignore news reports about the so-called Revanchists.  She’s not one of those Jedi awaiting eagerly for any tidbit of knowledge about the war effort.  There’s knowledge to pursue and meditations to, uh, meditate and, honestly, anything to do so she doesn’t have to track the progress of the war.

It works for exactly a month.  She manages to go a full month without seeing a single news report.  That doesn’t mean she doesn’t hear _anything_ about the war- everyone is chattering about it, after all- but she doesn’t see anything official.  

But it’s hard to watch the news and not catch sight of information about the war, and when they open their segment with a shot of Nora, lightsaber flashing, Atris can’t flick it off like usual.  She’s fixated on the screen, but there’s a roaring in her ears that keeps her from hearing what the newscaster is saying.

The news frames her flatteringly: she’s talking to some grunt troops, moving with them yet somehow above them.  A leader inspiring her captivated troops.  The camera seems to catch all of Nora’s good angles.

Atris sees past that, however.  She can see how her cheeks have become gaunt, and she can see the haunted look in her eyes.  This Nora isn’t the same woman who left Dantooine, that much is plain, and Atris is also certain that she can see the signs of dark side corruption ravaging her body.  

A shame.  

* * *

 

Atris has steeled herself for this, perhaps for years.  Perhaps since Nora left so long ago, a day that Atris can recall in perfect detail.  It feels inevitable that they would see each other again, as unlikely as it may have seemed up to this moment.

That doesn’t mean that Atris was ready to see her again.  She strides into the Council chamber with her head held defiantly high, but her eyes lack the spark they held once and her movement is so heavy.  

“Do you know why we have called you here today?” Master Vrook asks.

“I didn’t come because you called.  This was my choice,” Nora says.  

Her voice has gotten deeper, more firm.  She speaks with an authority that sounds strange coming from her old friend.  This is a voice that can lead troops and command an army, even to commit the most terrible crimes.

“As Revan summoned you, so have you come full circle to return to the Jedi,” Master Kavar says.  

“Why did you defy us?  The Jedi are guardians of the peace and have been for centuries.  This call to war undermines all we have worked for,” Master Ell says.  

“Is Revan your master now?  Or is it the horrors you wrought at Malachor that caused you to see the truth at last?” Atris asks.  

Atris isn’t ready to have Nora’s pained gaze look at her.  To see the woman that she was once friends with fallen so low is painful in a way that Atris hadn’t anticipated.  She had admired Nora once.  That admiration was clearly misplaced.  

(A quiet, desolate part of Atris’ mind wonders if seeing her is difficult for Nora.  That part of Atris’ mind hopes so.  Needs it to be so.)

“The truth is that without Revan and the other Jedi that left the order, many more would have died,” Nora says.  “What we did was terrible, but what you did was far worse.”

“You refuse to hear us.  You have shut us out, and so have shut out the galaxy,” Master Ell says.  

“You are exiled.  You are a Jedi no longer,” Master Vash says.

“There is one last thing.  Your lightsaber: surrender it to us,” Master Vrook says.  

Nora takes a look at each of them in turn.  There’s something burning inside of her, but as she looks at each of them in turn, it seems to leave her.  

She flicks her lightsaber on, walking towards the center dias.  The dual violet blades flash as Nora plunges it into the stone.  

Nora turns and leaves without another glance, leaving Atris to catch her breath.  She’s not the person that Atris once knew.  The dark side has corrupted her too much and she was too weak.  

It would be a great loss, except Atris mourned Nora’s loss years ago.  And the woman that she saw today certainly wasn’t her.  


End file.
